Feminine persons have a lot to say regarding various degrees of sexual harassment all too many have experienced and had to figure out how to deal with. I am no exception. However, as a practice, I do not identify as a victimized woman. If I don’t practice freedom in my own mind, how will I ever experience it in my manifest reality?
Recently, I discovered a layer of my own ego structure that I did not expect to find, coming up for release… something I have observed with disgust in more exacerbated forms in other women. It happened when I met a friend for breakfast this one morning… I will call him Gary.
Gary and I had been friends for about eight years. Both of us had long since been called to a spiritual walk, and our friendship was born out of sharing our latest spiritual challenges and insights with each other, just for the sheer joy of fellowshipping around something so deeply important to both of us. We would get together whenever the idea to do so materialized, which turned out to be about once or twice a year. There was never any pursuit of a romantic exploration between us. But through various phases of our lives and our journeys of growth, there seemed to be a wondering about romantic compatibility on one side or the other now and then. I certainly had that wondering at times. And I felt he did too on occasion. But we never talked about it. We just did what we really wanted to do with each other, which was compare notes about our life experiences along the path of growing up in spirit.
Over the years while knowing Gary, I had grown through a particularly difficult period of second chakra issues. I had many painful relationship experiences while I wrestled with my ego idea of love and how I tried to experience my own self-worth through romance instead of within myself. It was tough but I actually turned the $#*@ into compost, healed the issues in my second seal, and started to blossom as a whole new person and finally my own best friend.
Gary had himself gone through a painful but personally fruitful transition in the relationship department. As we sat together having breakfast on this particular morning, we both had great things to say about how much fun we were each having being our own best friend, exploring life and creativity from the perspective of being in a truly healing relationship with ourselves.
And as pudding to prove it, our breakfast ended sooner than I would’ve expected. At a certain point, Gary explained suddenly that he had to leave in no later than ten minutes because he had budgeted some “me-time” activity for himself after our breakfast. Which was certainly different; but totally fine, of course. He got the check (nice of him :); I got the tip. We walked out, hugged a quick goodbye, and off he went. His energy in the hug was present but less warm and lingering than I had become accustomed to from him. This was also totally fine. I understood that he was moving as per what felt right for him in his relationship with himself, which is what I wanted for him just as much as I wanted the same for myself. Everything was healthy and right as could be.
But as I got into my car and drove away, I felt weird. I had a subtle twisted-up-knot feeling in my third seal (solar plexus) and a sense of feeling emotionally insecure. I didn’t understand why I was feeling this way all of a sudden when I had been glowing happily all morning. I tried to just breathe and let go of these strange tensions, letting my mind move on to the next moments in my day. But this icky knot and weak feeling wouldn’t clear. So I realized I had to look it squarely in the face, whatever it was.
I soaked my feeling sense into the physical and emotional sensations to discern what they were made of. And what I saw was the unsatisfied grip of a comfort zone derived from the influence or control that I could exercise over men who had a sexual interest in me. Because Gary was now more interested in being with himself than being with me, a feeling of insecurity and unbalanced pull in my lower will center had come up, expressing the way I felt out of control in a way I had been accustomed to feeling in control.
“Really?” I said to myself. “Yuck!”
I was never the type to proactively strive for control of any kind, and I did not like to be regarded as a sexual object. But here I discovered that I had grown a comfort zone around the range of influence I had been granted by men who were attracted to me. This comfort zone no longer fit with the quality of life experience and relationship that I was now growing into on the flip side of healing my second seal. I had found freedom in myself from listening to and respecting my inner voice (my true inner voice, not the voice of my ego structure), and I wanted this same freedom for everyone, including men, whether there was a romantic interest in play or not.
This vision of freedom was my true want. And this pattern of control was in conflict with my true want. It was proposing a lie or a false reality; but I had already discovered the truth. Thus, it had no option but to clear. I breathed into my feeling sense, holding the knowledge of my true want in my feeling mind at the same time as I looked at and felt the sensations of this old ego pattern, seeing them for exactly what they were without any sense of identification with them. Within a few minutes, the knot relaxed and the sensation of insecurity dissolved into an easy sense of peace.
The chakra system, or light seal anatomy of the mind, is designed to facilitate and integrate all aspects of human experience. Each light seal handles a different theme of self-experience and different faculties of mind. Our journey of growth on Earth is both facilitated by and reflected in the development and maturation of our light matrix. Each light seal is essentially an energy center that senses and conveys configurations of light aka thought forms aka information. When used to think in the now, the chakras serve as clear energy channels that convey the light configurations of God’s thoughts experienced as our own thoughts. But part of the challenge and the game of coming to Earth, is that before we mature enough spiritually to know ourselves in the now with God, we first... Login as member to read the whole explication