Here I sit, grateful because I feel connected to my body in such a way as to have just been able to listen through my feeling sense to know what my body needs for release of long term chronic tensions. I was just completing a series of routine exercises designed to support my hip and knee health. I’d been doing these fairly regularly lately and I’d found they support my SI joint and reduce pain by building well-rounded strength and flexibility. But always I’d experienced this as a management technique that mitigated my chronic SI joint pain issue but did not really fully alleviate it. While finishing up with the last exercise in the series: ankle-to-knee on the right side—the side of long-term problematic tension and SI joint pain—after minutes in the pose, I felt a release starting to occur in the SI joint itself. It tingled softly with goodness the whole length of the joint, and I felt this delicious urge to melt into the stretch, sliding my knee off to the side and changing the stretch from the conventional form of the pose. The goodness in the joint became happier and more delicious. I proceeded through minutes of clairvoyance, feeling inside my SI joint, moving as the area guided me for greater and greater release of these chronic issues. The joint felt good, and I felt good because I was actually filling the role I am meant to have as the steward of my body, in an intimate, feelingful relationship with it, able to listen to and hear what it needs and respond, and respect and care for it thus. I felt empowered for my health.
When the word “empowered” occurred to me in my self-awareness as the knowledge of how I was feeling in that moment, I balked at it slightly. This didn’t feel powerful. I didn’t feel like I had sheer ability coursing through my veins. I didn’t feel unstoppable and triumphant. What I felt was grateful, peaceful, sensitive, deeply alive, and gently joyful. I realized that I balked at the word “empowerment” because I had an idea of power in my mind that came from an old way of being and seeing inside a paradigm of force. All the years of my life that I did not know how to connect inside to feel intuitively and know from within my core, I had no other option but to force my ideas of what’s good through my voice and physical actions, never really knowing right movement but just going with the ideas I made up or learned that I liked the best or believed the most. Force wants to feel triumphant and able to do anything, so that the experiencer can feel safe and like he or she will be able to handle any problem that arises. What I had just experienced in ten minutes of deeper connection with myself was a look at how God’s power works. The kind of power that comes from being connected inside is a humble, quiet power to know what you need to know to address what’s up in your experience, and the result of this experience of knowing is not triumph and a feeling of raw ability. It’s simply peace. Peace that contains a sense of safety, calm, and joy that comes from being given what you need to know as you need to know it.
We all grow up forming our own perception of what power is, or what is powerful. But unless we were raised on manna from heaven, chances are our idea of power is based in how we felt while trying to be safe, comfortable, and loved with no inner connection to the deeper resources of Self that give us safety, comfort, and a connection to Love on... Login as member to read the whole commentary